


hallelujah, I believe

by supras



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Organ Transplantation, Saviour Sibling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 16:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11627838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supras/pseuds/supras
Summary: Niall ends the call and lets out the breath he hadn’t known he was holding, long and slow through his mouth.“Your brother’s kidneys failed?” Harry asks. He reaches out to grasp Niall’s hand in his. “I could hear your mum. Is he going to be alright?”Niall squeezes his hand back.“He will be once I donate a kidney to him.”AU. In which Niall is a saviour sibling and his boyfriend Harry doesn't know until the phone rings in the middle of the night.





	hallelujah, I believe

**Author's Note:**

> So this has been a long time coming. It's been in draft for like three years and only recently did I come back to the idea - and write something entirely different from that I'd started. 
> 
> Not betaed - any mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Title from Free by Ryn Weaver

The phone rings in the middle of the night. 

Harry’s a light sleeper, always has been, and he scrunches his nose and presses closer into Niall with a quiet whine. Niall stays asleep, curled up around Harry with an arm over his waist and his nose pressed to his neck. Harry turns in his hold with his eyes still closed and presses a kiss to Niall’s jaw. 

“Your mobile, babe,” he mumbles with a sigh. 

Niall doesn’t so much as wake as slowly slip into something vaguely resembling alertness, and by the time he does the mobile has stopped ringing. It immediately picks up again and he lifts himself up on his elbow to reach across Harry and fumble for where it’s charging on the nightstand. He answers the call with a blind flick of his thumb, not opening his eyes to check who’s calling. 

“‘Lo?” he yawns, flopping back down. Harry rolls onto his stomach, forehead on his shoulder and Niall lifts his free hand to card through his curls.

“Niall, it’s your mother,” says the woman on the other end of the line, sounding tired and older than her years.  “Greg’s gone into kidney failure.”

Niall’s heart turns over and he’s fully awake now, his hand stopping in Harry’s hair. Harry feels the way Niall’s gone stiff beside him and raises his head in concern. 

“What does that mean?” Niall asks. 

“Both of his kidneys have stopped functioning,” his mother explains. “He’s being started on dialysis and is on the transplant list, but.” 

The but hangs heavy between them, as it always has, and Niall has to close his eyes against the flood of feelings that come rushing back. He’d been twelve the last time he was needed like this -  still a child, but old enough to understand what was being asked of him. 

“I’ll be on the next flight,” he promises unflinchingly. 

“Text me the info. See you soon.” 

“Will do. Bye, mam.”

Niall ends the call and lets out the breath he hadn’t known he was holding, long and slow through his mouth.

“Your brother’s kidneys failed?” Harry asks. He reaches out to grasp Niall’s hand in his. “I could hear your mum. Is he going to be alright?” 

Niall squeezes his hand back. 

“He will be once I donate a kidney to him,” he responds and uses his other hand to rub tiredly at his eyes. His whole body feels heavy and he doesn’t want to get out of bed, but he needs to. He needs to untangle his legs from Harry’s and get dressed and get on a plane to Ireland.

Harry’s brow furrows as he frowns and Niall can barely make it out in the dim orange light from the streetlight outside their bedroom window. 

“But don’t you have to find out if you’re a match first? You can’t just donate a kidney to someone, it’s why more family members don’t do it and there’s a transplant list, right?”

“I’m a match.” 

“Really? How do you know?” 

Niall sighs. Harry doesn’t know. He’s never told him. There’s never been a  _ need _ to tell him in the near year they’ve been together. It’s never come up and he doesn’t talk about it anyway. And right now -

“I’ll tell you later,” he promises and squeezes Harry’s hand again before sitting up and untangling himself from him to swing his legs over the edge of the mattress. “I need to get to the airport, can you take me? Or I can get the train, so you can go back to sleep for work.” 

Harry lifts up and knee walks over to Niall so he can drape himself across his back, arms wrapped around his shoulders, and kisses his temple. 

“You’re going to another country to have major surgery. Like hell I’m going to take you to the airport. I’m going  _ with _ you.” 

Niall smiles and turns his head to rest his forehead against Harry’s. His body feels lighter knowing Harry will be there with him when his parents will be focused on Greg, even though it means Harry has to take off work for a week. It makes him feel selfish, even though he knows it’s Harry’s choice. Niall didn’t ask. Harry offered. 

“Thank you. Love you.” 

Harry nuzzles his cheek. 

“Love you too. Now come on. Let’s go.” 

Niall stands, dragging Harry forward with him and the other man clambers out of bed after him. 

He goes over to the closet and pulls out a duffle bag whilst Harry goes into the bathroom to gather their toiletries. He comes back and dumps them onto the bed where Niall’s carefully folding one of Harry’s t-shirts, lower lip worried between his teeth. His hands are shaking when Harry takes the shirt from him and sets it aside. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Harry assures him and pulls him into a hug. “Promise.” 

Niall lets out a shuddering breath and buries his face in Harry’s chest, arms coming up to close around his waist. He knows that theoretically it should be, that kidney transplants are done every day. But he doesn’t know how Greg is really doing, and if the transplant will even work. From the start, this whole thing has been a big what if. 

Niall nods and extracts himself from Harry to go back to packing. They make quick work of getting their things together, Niall running through a packing list out loud and Harry finding and placing the items in the bag. Whilst Niall showers, Harry texts his boss to let her know he’s had a family emergency and needs at least a few days off. He texts Niall’s boss as well, knowing he won’t remember to once they leave. 

In less than twenty minutes they’re on the tube headed to Heathrow, Niall curled into Harry’s side with his head on his shoulder, their hands clasped on his lap. Harry’s free hand is scrolling on his mobile booking flights so they don’t have to deal with it once they arrive at the airport. He manages to find one leaving in an hour when they reach the airport and Niall follows him off the train and into the terminal. 

With a mile long security line they barely make it to the gate before the doors are closed. 

“Wish we’d had time for coffee,” Niall sighs and falls into his seat with a huff. 

Harry closes the overhead bin and sits down too. 

“We’ll get some when we land,” he promises. He untangles the seat belt ends between them and hands Niall’s his before buckling his own. “And something to eat.”  

“Can’t eat before surgery,” Niall grumbles. He buckles his seatbelt and hunkers down in his seat with his arms folded across his chest and one hand at his mouth, biting his nails. 

Harry gently grasps Niall’s wrist and tugs his hand away from his teeth. Niall lets him. 

“They’re not going to be able to do surgery right away,” he says quietly. “They have to do blood work and actually confirm you’re a match, and get a theatre and a surgeon and all that. It’ll take a few  _ days _ .” 

“I guess.” 

Harry lifts the arm rest between their seat and beckons Niall to lean against him. 

“C’mere. Try to get some more sleep.”

Niall goes willingly and settles with his head on Harry’s shoulder again, despite knowing he won’t be able to sleep. He’s not a good flier even on a good day and Harry knows it too. Harry rests his own head on the top of Niall’s and closes his eyes with a deep breath. 

Everything is going to be okay. 

 

\---

 

The London to Dublin flightpath takes just over an hour and when their plane lands, Harry takes them straight to the Starbucks in the terminal. 

Niall anxiously shifts from foot to foot as they wait for their drinks, texting his mum. Greg’s still at the hospital in Mullingar until they have a confirmed donor and he can be transferred to Beaumont in Dublin. With his condition deteriorating so quickly, they’ll be able to do the transplant as soon as possible instead of waiting several months or more before finding a donor or even booking surgery. He texts his dad as well to let him know they’ve landed and it should take them a half hour or so to get out of the airport. 

Niall shoves his mobile into the back pocket of his jeans when Harry’s name is called and collects his latte with appreciative hands. Harry’s gotten them muffins as well, but Niall can’t stomach food yet. 

By the time they’ve cleared immigration and collected their checked bag, Niall’s got a text off his dad that he’s a few minutes away from the airport. Niall texts him back with the portal number as they go outside to wait and he hardly has time to take a good solid breath before his father’s old Peugeot is pulling up to the kerb.

Bobby pops the boot and gets out of the car but Niall’s already dropping their bag in and closing the hatch. 

“Good to see you lad,” Bobby greets him and pulls him into a hug. 

“Hi, Da.” 

Bobby reaches for Harry too and Niall steps back to allow them to embrace before they’re climbing into the car and heading off. 

“How’s Greg?” Niall asks once he’s in the passenger seat and buckling his seatbelt. 

“Not good,” Bobby admits. He flips his blinker on and looks over his shoulder to make sure the way is clear before merging into the through lanes. “It happened so fast.” 

“What happened? Mam didn’t say.” 

“It’s a known complication. Usually happens earlier and over time. It’s odd that it happened now and so quickly.” 

Niall sighs and settles back in his seat for the long drive to Mullingar. He can feel Harry’s eyes on him from the backseat, senses his confusion about the conversation. Another part of the secret Niall’s never told him. 

Niall slips his hand between the seat and the door and taps at Harry’s knee before flipping his palm up. Harry takes the invitation and grips his hand, squeezing hard before holding on. 

 

\---

 

Usually Niall delights in coming home to Mullingar. As much as he loves London he often misses his hometown and the slower pace of life here. He misses his family and Sunday roasts, even though he and Harry often host their friends at their flat on Sundays. It’s not quite the same. This time he feels heavy in his bones. 

“I was thinking we head to the house first,” Bobby says and Niall shakes his head immediately. 

“No, let’s go to the hospital. It’ll take time to get the blood work back so we need to do that.” 

Bobby nods and turns right at the next intersection. 

Midland Regional Hospital is a stark brick building that upon seeing it, brings back far too many memories of hospital visits to Niall. As soon as Harry’s gotten himself extricated from the backseat, Niall is slipping his hand into his again. 

Greg’s up on the second floor in the critical care. Niall follows his father dutifully down the corridor but hesitates outside the room where his brother is. He knows he’s in bad shape if the whole transplant process is being expedited, but he doesn’t know exactly how bad it is. 

Harry squeezes his hand and looks encouragingly toward the door and with a deep breath, Niall pulls him inside. 

His mam is on him first, pulling him into a hug and smacking a kiss to his cheek before Niall’s even said anything. 

“You look exhausted, love,” Maura says when she pulls back to examine her youngest son. “Sorry for waking you.” 

“It’s alright,” Niall replies and she turns her focus to Harry then to greet him as well. 

“Hey, Ni,” Greg says from his hospital bed and Niall swallows hard. 

It’s been  _ years _ since Niall’s seen him look so ill, his usual pale skin tinged grey and deep dark circles beneath his eyes. Greg smiles up at him though, holds out a hand to Niall and Niall bends down to embrace him. 

“You look shite,” Niall tells him and Greg laughs. 

“I  _ feel _ shite.” 

Niall perches on the edge of the bed with one leg tucked beneath himself. 

“What happened? Da didn’t give me much to go on.” 

“Had been feeling achy and tired but thought it was just lack of sleep from the wee one,” Greg explains with a nod in the direction of his wife, Denise, who is sitting in the chair by his side with their infant son in her arms. “Last night it felt like I was having a heart attack so we came to the A&E and well…” 

He trails off with a sigh. 

“Thanks for coming.” 

Niall looks down at his hands where they’re folded in his lap. 

“Of course.” 

Niall looks up as his mother. 

“So do we go find a nurse, or?”

Maura nods. 

“Come with me.” 

Niall stands and follows her, tugging on Harry’s arm as he passes him. The three troop down to the nurse’s station where Maura introduces Niall to the head nurse and explains that he’s the brother they’ve been waiting on. The nurse hands Niall a slip of paper with a blood work order on it and gives them directions to the lab. 

“Want me to go with you?” Maura asks and Niall shakes his head. 

“No, it’s alright. I’ve got Harry.” 

Maura kisses his cheek again and turns back towards Greg’s room whilst Niall and Harry go the other. 

“Can I ask you something?” Harry says tentatively as they walk. 

“What’s wrong with Greg, right?” 

Harry nods and Niall lets his breath out slowly through his mouth. 

“Later? I just. I don’t - not now.” 

“Okay.” 

 

\--

 

The phlebotomist makes quick work of drawing Niall’s blood, making small talk all the while to distract him from the needle in his arm. She sends them off with a bright smile and a reminder that the results should be back in a few hours. 

Back upstairs Maura starts in on how tired Niall looks and insists he goes back to Bobby’s to rest. 

“It’ll take awhile to get the results back, you should go take a nap,” she tells him with a level look Niall has always associated with his mother. He knows better than to argue, so he relents. 

“C’mon, I’ll drive,” Bobby offers. “I’ve got to get ready for work anyway.” 

Niall blanches at the mention of work when he realises he’s never told his boss he had an emergency and couldn’t come in today. He can’t just not show up, he’s going to get  _ fired _ on top of everything else. 

“I texted James,” Harry soothes upon seeing the panicked look on Niall’s face. “I told him you had a family emergency and needed at least a few days off. He said it was fine and to let him know how long you’d be out once you knew.” 

Niall feels his body sag in relief and allows his father to clap him on the back and steer him out of the room with a wave to the rest of the family. 

Back at Niall’s childhood home he climbs the stairs to his old bedroom. It hasn’t changed much - there’s a double bed now instead of his old single for when company comes, but his old footie posters are still on the walls and the wardrobe still holds some of his clothes. Harry shuts the door behind them and drops their bag on the desk, watching as Niall sits down on the bed and unties his shoes to take them off. 

“You really ought to try to sleep.” 

“You’ve been awake just as long as I have,” Niall counters. He swings his legs up and settles back against the pillows. “You ought to try to sleep.” 

“Don’t know if I can,” Harry admits but joins him on the bed. Even if they don’t sleep they can enjoy the quiet and Niall can be away from his family. Harry can tell Niall’s stressed and worried, nearly vibrating out of his skin with nerves and being at the hospital was making it worse. 

They lapse into easy silence and Harry closes his eyes, focusing on breathing evenly. 

“Greg has Fanconi anaemia,” Niall blurts after long minutes of silence. 

Harry opens his eyes and turns onto his side so he can look at Niall, who has his own eyes closed. 

“What’s that?”

Niall takes a deep breath before speaking again. 

“It’s a genetic disease. It causes cancer and endocrine problems and bone marrow failure. I donated bone marrow to him about ten years ago.” 

“Is that how you know you’re a match for a kidney then?”

Niall stays quiet for a long moment before opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. He’s never told anyone before and he can’t look to see how Harry reacts in case it goes badly. 

“No. I’m a saviour sibling.” 

Harry’s eyes widen as the air rushes out of his chest. 

“ _ What _ ?”

“Greg was really sick when he was little,” Niall explains quietly, looking anywhere but at Harry. “And after he was diagnosed with the Fanconi he was diagnosed with leukemia. The doctors told our parents his best bet was a stem cell transplant and neither of them were a match. So they decided to have a baby who was genetically screened to have the same blood type and factors but didn’t have the gene for Fanconi. I was literally….born because they didn’t want him to die.” 

Niall doesn’t notice he’s crying until Harry’s pulling him into his chest making soothing noises into his hair, one large hand rubbing circles into his back. He knows his parents love him but he’s always struggled with the fact that his parents only had a second child because they  _ had _ to, not because they necessarily wanted to. He came into this life with a single purpose and he fulfilled it twice. Now he needs to do it again. 

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Harry murmurs. “It’s your body. No matter what you’ve been asked to do before, you have a choice in this.” 

Niall laughs wetly. 

“If it were Gemma and you were a match, would you do it?” 

Harry’s brow furrows. How is that even a question?

“Of course I would, she’s my sister.” 

“And Greg’s my brother. So no, I don’t have a  _ choice _ .”

“I wish you weren’t in this position,” Harry whispers after a long moment of silence. 

“Me too.” 

Niall breathes deeply through his nose and lets the breath out slowly through his mouth. 

“I want to try to sleep. Can I be little spoon?” 

It’s a testament to how horrible he’s feeling that he wants to be held like that and Harry knows it. Harry nudges him to roll over so he’s facing away from him and wraps an arm securely around his waist. Niall brings his hand up to hold Harry’s where it’s resting on his stomach and settles back into Harry’s chest. Harry kisses the back of Niall’s neck and wishes him to fall asleep. 

 

\--- 

 

It takes three hours for the test results to come back confirming Niall is indeed a match for the transplant. Niall sleeps the entire time but Harry is awake when Maura texts. He’d dozed off and on, too worried about Niall to sleep more than enough to lessen the exhaustion. 

With Maura’s text also comes the news that the surgery will take place in two days’ time. Greg will be moved to Dublin tomorrow with surgery the following morning. Niall will meet with a transplant counselor tomorrow before returning on the morning of surgery. 

Niall stares down at his mobile after Harry’s woken him, bleary eyed and quiet. 

“What to go get something to eat?” Harry asks when he doesn’t say anything. 

Niall nods. 

 

\---

 

Harry gets everything in order - He arranges rooms at a B&B near the hospital in Dublin, enough space should everyone decide to sleep there at the same time, and requests a cot for the baby. He updates both his and Niall’s bosses with what’s happening and the time frame and books their return plane tickets home. By the time they arrive in Dublin the next morning, Niall is feeling settled thanks to his help and steady presence at his side. Naturally everyone else is focused on Greg but Harry is focused on Niall. And Niall doesn’t have words for how much he appreciates it. 

Whilst Greg is taken to get settled in what will tomorrow be their room, Niall is shown to the counseling offices on the fourth floor. The doctor had explained it to him earlier - all living donors must meet with a counselor to determine they are mentally and emotionally sound in their decision to donate, and to ensure they are not being coerced. 

_ I was coerced the day I was born _ , he thinks darkly but is all smiles when it matters, waxes on about how he’s happy he can do this for his brother so his nephew doesn’t lose his dad. He’s approved easily and allowed to go back downstairs. 

“You gon be okay?” Niall asks of his brother when he reaches his room again. “I wanted to take Harry to see the city.” 

“Niall -” Maura starts but Greg waves a weary hand. 

“Of course. Got these fine nurses to look after me, don’t I,” he says with a smile to his wife and mother. “Get out of here. Have some fun before you’re laid up in bed because of me.” 

Niall all but pushes Harry out the door and shuts it behind them. 

“So what are we doing?” Harry asks once they’re in the elevator heading down to the ground floor. 

“Whatever you like,” Niall says. “There are parks and museums and all sorts of things.” 

“Can we go to the archaeology museum?” Harry inquires hopefully. He’s read about it and Niall’s talked about visiting as a schoolboy. It sounds interesting and he’s all for learning more about the history of Niall’s homeland. 

Niall grins, the first real smile he’s had in a few days. 

“Absolutely.” 

 

\---

 

It takes them nearly an hour to get to the hospital to the museum in the heart of Dublin, but Harry’s excitement never flags. It rubs off on Niall who cheerfully leads him inside. They head straight through to the Prehistoric Ireland gallery and Harry sets to oohing and ahing over everything. 

Whoever decided it would take one to two hours to see everything in the museum had clearly never gone to a museum with Harry, Niall thinks. Harry takes his time to inspect every artefact and read every plaque, frequently asking Niall questions. Niall humours him and answers what he can and pulls out his mobile to Google or asks a guide anything he can’t. Harry’s only just satisfied he’s seen everything when the museum is closing at five pm. He’s beaming as they leave, hand in Niall’s and chattering about his favourite things he’d seen. Niall nods along, feeling light. 

They go for dinner at a Lebanese cafe Harry finds on a quick search from his mobile. It’s a tiny place that’s packed and they stand close to one another out of the way in a corner as they wait for their takeaway. Harry’s got both arms looped around Niall’s waist from behind, looking down at Niall’s mobile as Niall texts his mum at Harry’s request to ask if she’d like for them to bring anything back for her and the others. She responds quickly with a, “no but thank you love!” and Niall pockets his mobile to lean into Harry’s chest. 

“Have you had a good day?” 

Harry nods before he remembers Niall can’t actually see him.

“The best,” he says and tilts his head to kiss Niall’s cheek. “Thanks for taking me to the museum.” 

“I didn’t want to hang about the hospital all day,” Niall admits and Harry chuckles. 

“I know you didn’t. You suggested leaving before I could.” 

Niall shrugs one shoulder. 

“Nerves.”

He collects their food when their number is called and they head back to the B&B to hole themselves up in their room. Niall’s not wanting to be around people anymore, including his family, and Harry understands. Or, he tries to. He knows Niall is nervous about the procedure, and even though he’s denied it, Harry can tell he feels obligated. So Harry let’s Niall settle into the big hotel bed and pick the movie to watch whilst they eat, which they do in near silence. Niall’s jittery, fingers twisting and untwisting in the blanket across his legs but Harry doesn’t ask. 

It isn’t until much later when the sky outside the window has long gone dark and Harry’s suggested they try to sleep, that Niall asks. 

“Are you upset with me for not telling you?” he whispers into the darkness, lips against Harry’s neck where he’s got his body pressed up behind him. 

“Not telling me what exactly?” 

“About Greg, and me, and all of...that.” 

“Niall,  _ no _ ,” Harry says in confusion and sadness and something else that Niall can’t quite place. He shifts so he’s facing Niall instead of having his back to his chest and Niall can barely make out his face but feels it when Harry reaches his hand to cup his cheek. 

“Of course I’m not upset with you. I understand why you wouldn’t want to talk about it. And it changes nothing. I don’t love you any less, okay?” 

Niall nods, knowing Harry can feel it under his palm. The next breath he inhales is a shaky one and Harry pulls him close to his chest. 

 

\---

 

It’s an early morning for everyone the next day. Niall’s got to be to the hospital at six for pre-op and when the alarm goes off at quarter to five he’s already awake. He hadn’t slept much, would have tossed and turned all night if it weren’t for Harry’s steady presence at his side, snoring softly. He’d kept still not wanting to wake him, dozing off and on until waking at half four. The alarm wakes Harry but he doesn’t grumble when he comes to like he does most mornings, especially ones where he hasn’t gotten enough sleep. Instead, Harry nuzzles into Niall’s neck with a sigh and light kisses along his jaw. 

“You ready for today?” 

“As I’ll ever be,” Niall says and kisses him soundly. 

They shower together squeezed into the small cubicle in the ensuite, taking turns sudsing up and Harry takes his time washing Niall’s hair for him. He uses his own shampoo, an expensive orange scented concoction he knows Niall likes, the only part of him Niall can take into the theatre. Niall’s grateful for it and doesn’t need to voice it aloud. He knows Harry understands in the way he kisses him when the water is turned off and they’re wrapped in towels in the steamy bathroom. 

Niall himself can’t eat anything but he collects a scone with jam and a cup of tea from the downstairs dining room for Harry, who only eats when Niall glares at him. 

“Just because I can’t eat until this afternoon doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, you idiot,” Niall tells him with a satisfied look when bites into the scone. 

Harry rolls his eyes but chews dutifully. 

Once at the hospital, Niall’s quickly checked in and changes into a hospital gown before getting settled into the second bed in what’s been just Greg’s room until now. He sits patiently as the nurse gets the IV started, his other hand in one of Harry’s. Harry’s other hand is occupied filling out a few final forms that Niall signs once he the line is in, giving them a once over to make sure Harry’s gotten all the information correct. It’s the anaesthesiologist’s turn next to go over history and verified information Niall provided, and then  _ finally _ Niall’s given the all clear and it’s time to go.

Niall and Greg are being taken to surgery at the same time so the room is a flutter of activity as nurses come in for the final preperations, checking IV lines and making sure everything else is ready to go as their family says their good-byes. 

Maura kisses Niall’s cheek before going to her elder son, leaving Harry sitting on the edge of Niall’s bed with Niall tightly gripping his hand. 

Niall feels like he’s going to be sick, stomach churning and nerves flaring up and the heart monitor picking up pace. 

“It’s going to be fine,” Harry promises. “You’re going to do great and I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?” 

Niall nods, not trusting himself to speak, but doesn’t let go of his hand until the last possible second. 

 

\---

 

With Niall and Greg gone into surgery, the rest of them are ushered into a family waiting room down the hall. 

The baby is fussy, having picked up on the tension of the room and the anxiety of his mother. He squirms in Denise’s arms making distressed noises and Harry feels  _ terrible _ . 

“Here, let me take him,” he offers and holds his arms out. 

Denise carefully hands the baby over and Harry lifts him to his chest. He cradles him with an arm under his bottom and his head on his shoulder, his other hand on the baby’s back. 

“Hi little lad,” he murmurs quietly. “You’re alright. I’ve got you.” 

The baby relaxes in his hold and goes quiet. Harry bets his eyes are closing. 

“You’re good with him,” Denise remarks. Her face looks less pinched thanks to the relief that her son has quieted. “Have you and Niall talked about having one of your own?” 

“A bit. We both want kids, but not yet,” Harry tells her. He inhales deeply to relish that powerful baby smell he loves. He feels calmer having a purpose, a way to help, rather than sit on his hands and feel helpless. 

They’re quiet for the next hour, Harry keeping the baby in his arms whilst Maura and Bobby watch the television playing quietly and Denise reads her book. They all look up when Dr. Brady comes in, and Maura sits up a little straighter for the update. 

“There’s been a bit of a complication,” Dr. Brady starts before anyone can ask how Greg and Niall are doing. “There was a mass on the kidney we were going to take from Niall. It looks like a cyst and nothing serious and we’ve sent it to pathology to make sure and should know this afternoon, but it means he can’t donate.” 

Harry’s heart plummets and he feels Denise stiffen beside him. 

“What does that mean for my husband? We’ve all been tested, we’re not matches.” 

Harry’s head swings around to look at her so quickly it makes his neck hurt. They’ve been  _ tested _ ? Why would they need to be when they knew Niall already was one?

“We have to close him back up and he’ll go onto the waiting list,” Dr. Brady explains. “He’ll be a top priority but we won’t know how long it will take for a match to come up.” 

Denise bursts into tears and Maura gets to her first, wrapping her up in her arms and making soothing noises as mothers do. 

“I’m so sorry,” Dr. Brady says. “Both Niall and Greg will be moved to recovery soon and up to their room within an hour. You can see them then.” 

She leaves and it takes Harry only a split second to decide to follow her out of the room, handing the baby to Bobby, who looks at him in confusion before he darts out. 

“Excuse me,” Harry says once he’s caught up with her in a few long strides. “I’d like to be tested to see if I’m a match. I know I’ve the same blood type, so that’s a start.” 

Dr. Brady eyes him carefully. 

“Are you sure? This isn’t something you can take lightly. You’d be living the rest of your life with one kidney. It can be limiting.” 

Harry nods vehemently. He understands, more than he knows she thinks he does. He’s sat in with Niall as the risks were covered, discussed them late at night later. 

“Absolutely.” 

 

\---

 

Harry makes sure he’s in Niall’s room when he’s wheeled in. Niall had been in recovery long enough for Harry to provide blood, urine, and tissue samples and fill out more paperwork than he’d ever seen in his life. Now it’s time to wait again, though the results should be back soon. 

Niall looks tired when he’s brought in, eyes glassy and frowning. The nurses move his bed into position and lock the wheels then adjust all the monitors. Greg’s brought in immediately after but Harry’s focused on Niall. The doctors had told him what they’d found already and that they hadn’t been able to proceed with the transplant and the knowledge is clear on his face. 

“How’re you feeling?” Harry asks when Niall reaches out his hand toward where Harry’s pulled a chair beside the bed. Harry takes his hand and Niall holds on. 

“Funny,” Niall responds. “Upset.” 

Harry sighs, running his thumb over Niall’s knuckles. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

Niall closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before letting it out slowly. 

“Not your fault.” 

 

\---

 

Niall’s fallen asleep again when Dr. Brady comes around to speak with Harry. She makes a show of checking on Niall and Greg before meeting Harry’s eyes and jerking her head towards the hallway. Harry lets her leave and then follows after a moment as to not raise suspicion. He’d asked her earlier to be discrete; he doesn’t want anyone to get their hopes up - including himself - until the tests come back and it’s absolutely certain he can donate. If the tests come back negative, he won’t tell them it happened at all. 

“So far you’re a good candidate,” Dr. Brady says when Harry’s closed the door behind them. “Blood type is a match, as well as three antigens, and the first cross-match came back negative. You’re in great health, but I’d like to do a CT of your kidneys whilst we wait for the second cross-match to come back.” 

Harry’s flooded with relief and scrubs a hand over his face as he exhales the breath he hadn’t known he was holding. 

“Thank god. Can we do the CT now?” 

Dr. Brady nods and gestures down the corridor. 

“I’ve already told them we’re coming.” 

 

\--- 

 

When Harry returns he makes a feeble excuse that he’d phoned his mum and she was chatty, and Niall’s family buys it completely. Niall himself doesn’t look like he believes it but he doesn’t say anything, just gives Harry an odd look. He knows Anne can be chatty, but not in times like these. 

 

\---

 

Niall is discharged in the evening as the surgery wasn’t completed and he doesn’t need to be monitored, only needing to come back in a few days to have his incision checked. With his discharge comes the news the mass on his kidney was benign and most likely will not come back. Niall takes it as the only positive from the situation. At the B&B Harry gets him settled into bed, having been instructed to keep Niall quiet until tomorrow. 

“You’re hovering,” Niall tells him gently after Harry’s asked him six times in as many minutes if he needs anything. “Come sit.” 

Harry plops onto the other side of the bed then immediately stammers an apology when his weight shifts the mattress and jostles Niall. 

Niall waves a hand in dismissal. 

“It’s fine, I’m fine, you great oaf.” 

Harry pouts at him, not being appreciated being called an oaf and Niall rolls his eyes fondly. 

“I love you,” he reminds him and opens an arm to beckon him to his side, “but really I’m fine.” 

Harry gives him a level look but kicks his boots off and tucks himself into Niall’s side anyways. 

 

\---

 

Harry tries to skip breakfast the next morning on the chance the cross-match is positive and he’s going to have surgery, but Niall picks up on it quickly. Niall’s up and about and goes down to the dining room for breakfast to bring back scones and some bacon and when Harry says he’ll get something later when they go to the hospital to see Greg, his eyes narrow at him. 

“Why would you buy food at the hospital when there’s perfectly good food here?” Niall challenges, holding out a scone in front of Harry’s face. 

“I’m not hungry right now,” Harry lies and is immediately given away by his stomach growling audibly. 

Niall drops his hand, face pinched in concern now. 

“What’s going on? Are you ill?” 

“No, I…” Harry trails off and sits down on the end of the bed, patting the spot beside him. He can’t keep this a secret anymore. They’d promised no secrets. “C’mere.” 

Niall falls into a sitting position. 

“You’re scaring me, Haz.” 

“I know, and I didn’t mean to. After Dr. Brady told us about what happened during surgery, Denise said they’d all been tested and weren’t matches and asked what was going to happen. So I asked Dr. Brady to test me and see if I was a match.” 

Niall’s brow furrows in confusion and he stares down at the floor. 

“They were tested?  _ You _ were tested?” 

“They were. I’m not sure why, since they knew you were, but -” 

“And are  _ you _ a match?” 

Harry lets the question hang in the air between them for a long moment and when Niall looks up he can see the answer on Harry’s face.    
“Oh,  _ Harry _ ,” Niall breathes, voice cracking. “Really?” 

Harry nods. 

“If the second cross-match is negative this morning, surgery will be this afternoon.” 

“But,  _ why _ , Harry? You don’t have to do this. There are so many  _ risks _ , you know that. He’s not your family -” 

Niall breaks off his rambling when his voice spirals too high to carry on anymore. He doesn’t comprehend how someone with no personal stake would willingly give up an  _ organ _ for another person. 

“He feels like my family, Niall, I  _ want  _ him to be my family -” 

“Marry me,” Niall says suddenly. 

Harry goes rigid, caught off guard and his hands going still where they’d been twisting in his lap. 

“ _ What _ ?”

“Marry me,” Niall repeats, more forcefully.

“No, Ni, don’t - not just because I’m doing this, I don’t want you to feel obligated -” Harry stops when Niall begins to laugh and he feels his stomach sink. Niall’s playing a joke, making fun of him, after this. 

“You eejit, I’ve wanted to marry you since our third date,” Niall says and picks up Harry’s hand from where it’s resting in a fist on Harry’s lap. He shifts so he’s facing Harry with one leg tucked beneath himself. “I’ve a ring in my sock drawer in our wardrobe at home. I’ve been planning to do it up big, all romantic and fancy like you deserve. A flash mob maybe. But I don’t want you to do this, to go another minute without being mine forever. Marry me.” 

“Well now I really want a flash mob,” Harry chokes out with a watery laugh. “If I say yes now can I have it later?” 

Niall raises their linked fingers and kisses the back of Harry’s hand.

“Anything you want, love.” 

Harry has to stop himself from launching his body forward because Niall’s got a six inch incision in his abdomen and he can’t risk hurting him. Instead he settles for wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him hard. Niall’s still for a moment, caught by surprise, but he smiles into it. 

“Is that a yes?” he asks breathlessly pulling back a minute later. 

Harry laughs again and rests his forehead against Niall’s. His grin takes up his entire face and Niall wants to kiss him again. 

“As if you even had to ask.” 

 

\---

 

Harry gets the call the cross-match is negative before he and Niall have made it back to the hospital to see Greg, and surgery is set for two hours’ time. He asks that he be the one to tell the rest of Niall’s family and Dr. Brady agrees. 

“Shall we tell them all the good news at once?” Harry ponders aloud as he ties Niall’s shoes for him since Niall can’t bend down to do it himself. Maura, Denise, and Bobby are still at the B&B as well as visiting hours haven’t yet begun for the day. 

“If you like,” Niall says and kisses Harry’s cheek when his shoes are secure. “I want to.” 

They pop next door to Denise and Maura’s room and Bobby is there too, holding his grandson as the two women finish getting ready.

“How are you boys this morning?” Maura asks cheerfully and kisses them both when they enter. “How’re you feeling, Niall?” 

“Pretty good. Got some news though,” Niall replies and slips his hand into Harry’s and holds on tight. “Two things. One, Harry’s gone and gotten tested and he’s a match and will be donating a kidney to Greg today. Two, since he feels like part of the family I thought we should make him an official member so I’ve asked him to marry me. And he’s said yes.” 

Niall beams around at everyone and they just stare back in silence. Maura’s eyes are so wide she looks comical and Denise looks like she’s in shock, unmoving. 

Harry worries his lower lip between his teeth as his stomach sinks. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. 

Then all at once they react. 

Denise bursts into tears again and throws her arms around Harry, saying thank you over and over and asking if he’s sure. Maura is laughing from stress and excitement, embracing her youngest son as his father whoops. The baby has been startled and cries as well, Bobby trying to soothe him but failing because he’s grinning too widely to do it properly. 

“I’m completely sure,” Harry assures Denise. He’s got his own arms around her, chin resting on top of her head and tears in his eyes. “You guys are my family. Family looks after their own.”

“We’re a bunch of fecking messes,” Niall remarks to the crying lot of them. He’s got tears streaming down his own face but is grinning all the same. 

Maura swats at him half-heartedly. 

“Speak for yourself. Let us be happy.” 

 

\---

 

Greg takes the news about as well as his wife had - insisting Harry needn’t do it before the relief and gratefulness wins out and he’s got both of Harry’s hands clasped in his and thanking him. 

It goes much the same as yesterday except this time it’s Harry getting an IV put in and Niall filling out paperwork for him. Harry’s got the baby again, though he’s awake and grinning up at Harry as he coos at him. 

“I want one,” Harry says, gently bopping the baby on the nose with a single finger. The baby giggles and Harry’s heart swells. 

Niall rolls his eyes 

“Let’s focus on getting you out of here, yeh? And we have a wedding to plan first.” 

“D’you hear that, little one? A  _ wedding _ ,” Harry coos to the baby. “Too bad you won’t be walking yet and can’t be ring bearer.” 

Niall quirks one eyebrow up. 

“Won’t be walking? When are you planning on this wedding being?” 

Harry looks at him sheepishly. 

“Soon?"

Niall gives him a level look for a long moment before huffing out an amused breath. 

“I should have known as much.” 

Harry grins. 

 

\---

 

Niall doesn’t want to say good-bye when Harry’s being taken down to surgery, but he does it because he has to. He kisses Harry’s forehead with a promise he’ll be there in his room when he’s brought back. His stomach is in knots and he’s even more grateful for how steady Harry had been through all this when Niall had been the one doing it. 

“If you hadn’t proposed I would have,” Denise jokes as they walk down to the waiting room and Niall offers her a tense smile in return. It feels weird to know Harry’s not just his boyfriend anymore, so quickly, after he’s been agonizing for months about when would be the right time to ask him to marry him. They’d discussed marriage, knew it was something they both wanted even after a few months, but it just hadn’t happened until now. 

The waiting room is cold and Bobby and Maura are already there. Niall sits beside his mother and rests his head on her shoulder. She strokes his hair like he’s a child again but doesn’t say anything. 

“Can I ask you something?” Niall says after awhile of sitting in near silence, the only sound from the television on the wall. 

“Always, love.” 

“Harry said Denise told Dr. Brady none of you were a match to donate to Greg?”

Maura’s hand stills in her son’s hair and Niall lifts his head to look at her. 

“We didn’t want you to donate unless we really needed you to,” she explains, “so we were all tested first, before we called you.” 

“But  _ why _ , you know I’d be able to.” 

Maura sighs and tugs Niall close to her. 

“You’ve given so much of yourself already, Niall. It didn’t seem fair to ask again.” 

Niall pulls himself away, sitting up straight in frustration. She doesn’t  _ get it _ . This is why he exists and they didn’t even call him first. 

“But that’s why I was born. I had to help Greg.” 

“And you  _ did _ . You’ve helped your brother more than any parent should ask a child to do. We didn’t want to feel obligated.” 

She sounds sad and Niall’s stance crumbles. His shoulders sag as he curls in on himself. He’ll always feel obligated, no matter what, because he knows that despite his parents’s love, he has a purpose. 

Maura looks at him in horror and he realises that he’s spoken this out loud, something he’s never done. 

“ _ No _ ,” she says firmly. “This is not your  _ purpose _ . Your purpose is to be happy. If you had said no, that would have been just fine. Your father and I wanted another child soon, we always wanted you, not just because you could help your brother.” 

“But -” 

“No, Niall,” Maura repeats. “I’m so sorry you feel this way. It was never our intention. You’re more than this to us.” 

Niall pushes himself back into his mother’s arms and let’s twenty years of tears and frustration soak into her shirt. 

 

\---

  
  


As promised, Niall is waiting when Harry is brought up from recovery, sitting in the chair Harry’d occupied all yesterday and scrolling through twitter on his phone. Harry’s still a little out of it and he smiles up at Niall goofily when he comes into focus. 

“Niaaaaall,” he slurs. “You’re heeeere.” 

Niall laughs and moves his chair closer to rest his elbows on the edge of the bed. 

“I told you I would be.” 

“And you will be forever,” Harry says smugly. He pauses for a long moment. 

“I still want that flash mob, Horan.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> probably gonna be a part two with that flashmob.


End file.
